Not everyone who seeks help truly wants it. Some people only want attention; others have no clue about what they want, and a few turn their problems into lifetime careers. Yesterday I sat with a man who went on and on. He complained about the very same things he has complained about for years. Nothing has changed in his world, and it isn't going to until he gets real.

Real is a state of being; a place where we begin to accept ourselves, warts and all, and a time when we begin to see that it is we who need to change. Improvements in our life begin when we face our shortcomings and begin doing something about them.

One of the most effective ways to reach higher ground is by taking one step at a time. Some people make long lists of things they should change. Long lists tend to kill desire. To break free of old habits tackle one shortcoming at a time and work on it until it is no longer any part of us. Then move on.

How difficult is it to repackage ourselves into someone much better?

When I began my first transformation I was a two-pack-a-day smoker with the habit of getting drunk weekly. Those were my dark days. Even when sober I lied to myself, pretended I was somebody I wasn't, and experienced moments of absolute insanity. Alcohol is a numbing agent that leads to very stupid decisions; lying does the same thing.

Talk about dumb and dumber; there were moments when I was so stupid it's a wonder I didn't kill myself. One night I drove a Mercedes Benz into a tree at 50 miles per hour. That startling event cracked ribs, blackened an eye, and led to my sharing a night with others in a drunk tank. That wasn't my first wakeup call, but it was the one that finally caught my attention. I got honest with myself at a deeper level than ever before, and once my mind truly cleared I saw how insane some of my choices have been.

The very first step toward improved performance is self-honesty. The second step is starting to make better choices. We live in raging seas of options, and when we allow our ego and circumstances to lead the way we find ourselves fighting impossible uphill battles.

We already have everything necessary to achieve happiness, peace of mind, and joy. What might be missing is the self-honesty to clearly see what we are doing and the self-discipline to tackle one shortcoming at a time. At that pace, one step at a time, anything that makes us stronger is possible.

As Robert Schuller said, "Inch by inch, everything is a cinch."  

Dick Warn 

Despite a shadow inventory of 1.6 million seriously delinquent loans, and a huge inventory of foreclosures, nearly 50% of 900 housing markets tracked by CoreLogic registered price gains last year.

CoreLogic chief economist Mark Fleming labeled the improvement “quite a turnaround” from 2009 when 90% of markets posted declines.

“The shadow inventory doesn't mean we can't have, in many parts of this country, home price growth,” Fleming said during a speech Friday.

The $26 billion robo-signing settlement is expected to remove processing road blocks and speed up the sale of foreclosed properties in the shadow inventory.

Speaking at a Capitol Hill panel discussion on housing issues, Fleming noted that it will take 18 months for the shadow inventory (loans that are 90-days or more past due, in foreclosure/REO not listed for sale yet) to work its way through the system. The luncheon was sponsored by mortgage insurer Radian.

Currently, there is a five- to six-month supply of existing homes for sale -- and the shadow inventory will add another two-month supply.

Fleming called an eight-month supply “unhealthy,” noting that it puts “downward pressure on prices.”  

A four- to five-month supply of homes on the market is considered healthy or neutral because it doesn't exert upward or downward pressure on home values.

Overall, the CoreLogic chief economist says he is seeing signs of improvement in the economy, labor markets and housing. “I feel like it is heading in the right direction,” Fleming said.

Who Are Your True Friends?

Thomas J. Watson, founder of IBM, said this about friends, "Don't make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up."

When acquiring friends, the easiest way to go is looking for people you have fun with and people who are lower than you on the ladder of awareness. These people will pay you compliments, fill you with pride, and never challenge you to grow. It's like bowling with someone who never bowls -- you can look awfully good with almost no effort.

Looking good is nice, but it is not as nice as feeling good. Feeling good results from honest effort and personal growth. We have to know that we are finding better ways and following those ways; not just talking the talk, but walking the talk.

The Talmud, a Jewish archive of oral tradition, says, "Join the company of lions rather than assume to lead among foxes."

Another way of saying that: "He that lies down with the dogs will rise up with fleas." And as E.K. Piper said, "Keep out of the suction caused by those who drift backwards."

One of the proven ways to stay on track and keep improving yourself is to find someone who has climbed much higher than you and ask them for help. When you've asked the right person, their flood gates of wisdom will open wide.

Who will that right person be? It will be someone who has fought their battles, discarded their myths, and found peace within themselves. These rare souls will be covered in scars, and they'll truly want to help you. Everyone else is guessing.

Your true friends are wise enough and caring enough to help you grow.

Dick Warn